For once, I want to be the girl
who's being pursued,
not the one who's pursuing.
To be truly loved
not because I'm the only option
but because I truly matter.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
The start of the year was sad for me. H went back to OZ a day before my Lolo passed away. I've been with my family most of the time during those days, sharing our loss and renewing our bond with each other. However, I wasn't able to manage my time well. One very important person felt neglected during those times.
Am I sorry? Yes, for not being a supergirl who can be there in times of need.
I feel trapped in a haze of uncertainty. Unsure of what the future would bring. Afraid of what the present has to offer. There'll be change. That I'm sure of.
I am tired of always adjusting. I am tired of not asserting myself. I am tired of always being the one to say sorry. I am tired of not speaking out my thoughts.
But I love him so much.......that, I'm not tired of.
Am I sorry? Yes, for not being a supergirl who can be there in times of need.
I feel trapped in a haze of uncertainty. Unsure of what the future would bring. Afraid of what the present has to offer. There'll be change. That I'm sure of.
I am tired of always adjusting. I am tired of not asserting myself. I am tired of always being the one to say sorry. I am tired of not speaking out my thoughts.
But I love him so much.......that, I'm not tired of.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Space mode
Aaargh. I'm now experiencing the "space" Mode again... and as usual.. the recipient role again. I'm just not used to this. I hope H will feel much better soon. Aaargh. hard hard hard.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
SMS
Last Monday, my peaceful and somehow boring life rattled when I received a text message asking me to confirm an Initial Interview at SLMC for Wednesday. I must admit, that was sudden. I completely lost hope about that slot when I did not pass the IQ exam, nakakahiya talaga. I was thinking, maybe my IQ was still rusty from lack of use,hehe.
Since Board Exam last June 1 and 2, I had only focused on BLS at Red Cross, IV therapy training at Muntinlupa, and IELTS exam. All of that resulted to a pleasant outcome, except for the IELTS which I had to repeat since I didnt get the full mark needed. Application to SLMC was something I did for the sake of "applying for the job". I passed my CV thru email, and I was lucky to get a reply that afternoon. The exam was scheduled last September. It was a 57 item IQ exam (i think), which we had to finish in 15 minutes. I thought it was just the usual picture test, but it wasn't. It's more complicated than that. We had to wait for the result, and as expected, I didn't pass. I forgot the whole embarassing incident and moved on with my life, until last Monday.
I had to reread the text, thinking that my eyes fooled me, but it was really there stated clearly. Initial Interview, 11.12.08. I don't know how to prepare for it, so I did nothing. I was there 45 minutes before my scheduled time. I even saw, people rallying in front of the SLMC, maybe related to the controversial Bolante. Upstairs, I began to think that maybe the text wasn't meant for me, since my name wasn't listed at the Log. Still I waited, and embraced myself for what was to come.
The awaited time arrived. There were 4 of us that will be interviewed at the same time. That was the first time I had to sit for an interview with my fellow applicants, and a first for the role as RN. I did try my best. Whatever the result will be, I'm going to accept it. I feel already blessed to have that kind of opportunity.
Since Board Exam last June 1 and 2, I had only focused on BLS at Red Cross, IV therapy training at Muntinlupa, and IELTS exam. All of that resulted to a pleasant outcome, except for the IELTS which I had to repeat since I didnt get the full mark needed. Application to SLMC was something I did for the sake of "applying for the job". I passed my CV thru email, and I was lucky to get a reply that afternoon. The exam was scheduled last September. It was a 57 item IQ exam (i think), which we had to finish in 15 minutes. I thought it was just the usual picture test, but it wasn't. It's more complicated than that. We had to wait for the result, and as expected, I didn't pass. I forgot the whole embarassing incident and moved on with my life, until last Monday.
I had to reread the text, thinking that my eyes fooled me, but it was really there stated clearly. Initial Interview, 11.12.08. I don't know how to prepare for it, so I did nothing. I was there 45 minutes before my scheduled time. I even saw, people rallying in front of the SLMC, maybe related to the controversial Bolante. Upstairs, I began to think that maybe the text wasn't meant for me, since my name wasn't listed at the Log. Still I waited, and embraced myself for what was to come.
The awaited time arrived. There were 4 of us that will be interviewed at the same time. That was the first time I had to sit for an interview with my fellow applicants, and a first for the role as RN. I did try my best. Whatever the result will be, I'm going to accept it. I feel already blessed to have that kind of opportunity.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
today, i learned that a girl:
should prioritize goals.
should understand boys.
should be complete by herself.
should envision a successful career- be a successful career woman.
no time for other thoughts, should only focus on what's important.
patience is needed. patience, patience, and more patience.
should prioritize goals.
should understand boys.
should be complete by herself.
should envision a successful career- be a successful career woman.
no time for other thoughts, should only focus on what's important.
patience is needed. patience, patience, and more patience.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Papa's past time
Last night, I was asked by Papa (lolo) to pick him up from his friend's house, Mang Epoy, the butcher. Apparently, they are still in the market and still selling meat. He dropped by at his place for some drinking session. Initially, I was hesitant to leave the house because that was the time where I just want to be with myself and not socialize with other people. However, I know I missed being with Papa, and I know that he misses it too, and so I obeyed.
Now that Papa is old, he has grown to be more sensitive, more weak, more persistent, and more lonely. He's kinda bored and would really want to be with people most of the time. Our house is almost empty when he gets home. Everybody would either be in their room doing something, studying, sleeping, watching or still at work. I can feel his loneliness. The kids have grown up plus Alj, his fave apo is now in Antipolo.
To fill in that kind of void inside him, he likes to drink with his beer buddies. I really don't like that past time, since it's really not healthy for him. With drinking, he could be with other people, talk to them, observe them, and just be with them. And so, if that would only be the way to somehow cheer him up, then I'll just contain my tongue from giving him some health teaching and just be with him as his apo (granddaughter).
Now that Papa is old, he has grown to be more sensitive, more weak, more persistent, and more lonely. He's kinda bored and would really want to be with people most of the time. Our house is almost empty when he gets home. Everybody would either be in their room doing something, studying, sleeping, watching or still at work. I can feel his loneliness. The kids have grown up plus Alj, his fave apo is now in Antipolo.
To fill in that kind of void inside him, he likes to drink with his beer buddies. I really don't like that past time, since it's really not healthy for him. With drinking, he could be with other people, talk to them, observe them, and just be with them. And so, if that would only be the way to somehow cheer him up, then I'll just contain my tongue from giving him some health teaching and just be with him as his apo (granddaughter).
Friday, August 22, 2008
August update
Here's some update of my life
1. I already pledged before God and before men that I will be ethical and professional as a Nurse. We all pledged in front of the Board of Nursing, and I might say that I took it quite solemnly. I just hope that I'll be able to practice it to the best of my ability. Funny thing was... after Mom browsed on the souvenir program and was returning it to me.. she muttered, "Oh ayan, isa ka na sa walang trabaho"). It hurts, but that's the truth. I now officially belong to those who are unemployed.
2. My friends and I went back to Our Lady of Manaog in Pangasinan to give our thanks. We went there on Saturday morning. We arrived at around 3pm and just had late lunch, touched Our Lady just before the Mass started. We headed off to Baguio by taking the last trip of a public van just beside the Church. The trip going to Baguio only took 2 hours from the Church. We had our light dinner at Nevada Square, a place where u can find loud music, bands, liquors, cigarettes, boys, girls, and sisig! We celebrated there our new profession in a form of liquor and just loosening up. My girlfriends and I aren't used to alcohol in our blood, so it really affected our orientation right away. At first we were just drinking a pitcher of Boracay Sling which tastes like Bailey's, but seniors ordered 1L of Jose Cuervo Tequila. Anyway it kinda went wild, and we danced on our spot and I body shot my girlfriends. I was kinda embarassed with my behaviour in the morning, especially when I saw the video.
3. August is a special month for my dear loved ones and friends: so Happy birthday to Mai (10), Peter (11), Ate Nena (18), and to Ninong (20)
4. I got back to Karate and sparring again. Tonight I had sparred with Aileen, my best bud in College. My fear got in me. She's taller, and have more power than me. She's also good with strategies. I was kicked on my left jaw, and I have bruise on my left shin. I was hurt, and I just couldn't fight back. I'm thinking of getting back into shape for the tournament and to upgrade my belt, but I need rigorous training in order to be competetive again.
5. Lastly, I'm missing Ham. Both of us have been busy these past few days. I'm really looking forward to videochat again with him.
For now, goodnight... must sleep now...
1. I already pledged before God and before men that I will be ethical and professional as a Nurse. We all pledged in front of the Board of Nursing, and I might say that I took it quite solemnly. I just hope that I'll be able to practice it to the best of my ability. Funny thing was... after Mom browsed on the souvenir program and was returning it to me.. she muttered, "Oh ayan, isa ka na sa walang trabaho"). It hurts, but that's the truth. I now officially belong to those who are unemployed.
2. My friends and I went back to Our Lady of Manaog in Pangasinan to give our thanks. We went there on Saturday morning. We arrived at around 3pm and just had late lunch, touched Our Lady just before the Mass started. We headed off to Baguio by taking the last trip of a public van just beside the Church. The trip going to Baguio only took 2 hours from the Church. We had our light dinner at Nevada Square, a place where u can find loud music, bands, liquors, cigarettes, boys, girls, and sisig! We celebrated there our new profession in a form of liquor and just loosening up. My girlfriends and I aren't used to alcohol in our blood, so it really affected our orientation right away. At first we were just drinking a pitcher of Boracay Sling which tastes like Bailey's, but seniors ordered 1L of Jose Cuervo Tequila. Anyway it kinda went wild, and we danced on our spot and I body shot my girlfriends. I was kinda embarassed with my behaviour in the morning, especially when I saw the video.
3. August is a special month for my dear loved ones and friends: so Happy birthday to Mai (10), Peter (11), Ate Nena (18), and to Ninong (20)
4. I got back to Karate and sparring again. Tonight I had sparred with Aileen, my best bud in College. My fear got in me. She's taller, and have more power than me. She's also good with strategies. I was kicked on my left jaw, and I have bruise on my left shin. I was hurt, and I just couldn't fight back. I'm thinking of getting back into shape for the tournament and to upgrade my belt, but I need rigorous training in order to be competetive again.
5. Lastly, I'm missing Ham. Both of us have been busy these past few days. I'm really looking forward to videochat again with him.
For now, goodnight... must sleep now...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Drive
After years of being persuaded by Ham.. finally i gave in.. I decided to learn how to drive. And I must admit it's pretty cool and interesting!
Ham enrolled me for a 10-hour-course, 2 hours per day. On my 1st day, I drove Vios 2008. I drove around Malacañang, getting the feel of the clutch, brake, gas, 1st gear and 2nd gear. On the 2nd and 3rd day however, I drove a Nissan Sentra. It's very different compared to Vios, the clutch is deeper, I don't like it that much. But during those times, I learned to drive from Tayuman till Macapagal, passing thru UST, Quiapo, Macapagal, Pandacan, until Pedro Gil under the heavy downpour of rain. I had to restart a number of times since I can't control clutch and gas that much especially when there's slow traffic and I'm in the intersection.
On my 4th day (today), still with a heavy downpour of rain and flooded streets, I drove Vios 2006 which is really good and just right for my driving skills (novice,hehe), shallow clutch and easier to push with gas. So even if the weather wasn't really good, I had fun driving it. I was able to park it at a gas station's toilet and to relieve (#1), but of course with my instructor's directions.
I have 2 more hours left to practice driving, I hope I'll be able to practice more of parking and the weather will be good on that last day. I just wonder whether Ham will let my drive his car,haha!
Oh and btw, thanks also to boyokoy for helping me renew my driver's license. ^__^
Ham enrolled me for a 10-hour-course, 2 hours per day. On my 1st day, I drove Vios 2008. I drove around Malacañang, getting the feel of the clutch, brake, gas, 1st gear and 2nd gear. On the 2nd and 3rd day however, I drove a Nissan Sentra. It's very different compared to Vios, the clutch is deeper, I don't like it that much. But during those times, I learned to drive from Tayuman till Macapagal, passing thru UST, Quiapo, Macapagal, Pandacan, until Pedro Gil under the heavy downpour of rain. I had to restart a number of times since I can't control clutch and gas that much especially when there's slow traffic and I'm in the intersection.
On my 4th day (today), still with a heavy downpour of rain and flooded streets, I drove Vios 2006 which is really good and just right for my driving skills (novice,hehe), shallow clutch and easier to push with gas. So even if the weather wasn't really good, I had fun driving it. I was able to park it at a gas station's toilet and to relieve (#1), but of course with my instructor's directions.
I have 2 more hours left to practice driving, I hope I'll be able to practice more of parking and the weather will be good on that last day. I just wonder whether Ham will let my drive his car,haha!
Oh and btw, thanks also to boyokoy for helping me renew my driver's license. ^__^
RNs
Thank God! That's all I can say!... ^__^
Congratulations to all of us who passed the June 2008 Nursing Licensure Exam.
Congratulations to all of us who passed the June 2008 Nursing Licensure Exam.
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